Hello, TMIers.
For a bit of backstory, I suffer from chronic constipation. Needless to say, my bowels pretty much rule my life, along with a multitude of other issues. I've had this problem since I was born and it's only gotten worse the older I've gotten. Typically, I go to the bathroom once every two weeks, sometimes every three if I'm having a particularly stressful period in my life. So far, the only thing that's really been helpful in terms of easing my issues is taking over 60% of my daily fibre intake via pills that taste like ass + fifty billion gallons of water. Unfortunately, I've gotten so used to not being bothered with having to take a few extra minutes out of my day to tend to my bowels that I just stop taking the fibre since I really just can't be assed.
Needless to say, I am quite familiar with the feeling of having your asshole stretched open, anal fissures, and laxatives.
Anyhoo, onto the actual story.
( Cut for length. )